Just in case you ever find yourself having to make tournament picks and you don't know anything about the sport except that someone named Jimmer is "so hot right now", then you can learn from these mistakes:
1) Don't pick team names that sound like the could be the name of a cheese.
Ex:
"Mmmm. Gonzaga cheese. So pungent. Great for salads."
2) Don't pick team names that sound like attendees at a Jane Austen ball circa 1782:
Ex:
Dame Vanderbuilt of Notre
The Marquett of Princeton
Archbishop St. Peter d' Wofford
Duke of Hampton
The Count of Villanueva (you know, the mysterious spanish aristocrat)
3) If you the teams you're choosing between don't fit either category above, don't default to picking the team who is in the state that is not the state that you know someone from that you don't like.
Ex:I hate that guy!
4) Know before you pick that the numbers beside the teams mean something called a ranking. And if you don't know that, then you will have to rely on a lot of somethings called "upsets".
5) Save your $10 entry fee and just award it to the player who comes up with the dirtiest/funniest name. (you know who you are). jajajajaja.
2 comments:
Wait. This was sort of my strategy last year and I totes won. Well, actually, I picked which mascot would beat the other in a fight. Like, a wildcat vs. a weird tree. Obvs the tree is going to win that one. Like, the stupid wildcat would just keep clawing away at it, and the tree would be like, yawn, wtf is this idiot cat doing? And then the wildcat would get super tired and lie down. And then the tree would rise up triumphantly and accept its tiara. Or whatever you get for winning march madness.
You. I love you and am glad you're blogging again. I laughed out loud at this. Now move to Vegas already.
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